NPL POWER RANKINGS 

 

#1 LA COOCHIE KILLERS (3-1)

Despite the shocking loss to the winless Railers the Coochie Killers remain at the top of the NPL mountain with its high potent offense. But with that being said they came into this week sleep walking and let a sure fire win slip though their cum covered fingers, Is this win a fluke or do the Coochie Killers have dark days ahead? This teams super stars need to look in the mirror and bring a better performance if they want to hoist the beloved crystal Bukkake Bowl trophy.

#2 LA PURDUE DUMPTRUCKS (3-1)

The Barons Baddies have now rattled off three straight victories and sit alone at the top of the NPC. These wins can be attributed to maybe one of the most lethal cock gobblers of them all, Rose Monroe. She has been nearly unstoppable and the Baron has let her off the lease, many have tried but this turbo diesel powered dump truck has just run them all over. The Dump Trucks are rolling and I'm sure they can make a deep run in the playoffs. 

#3 PATTY CAKE DOUCHE CANOES (3-1)

The Douche Canoes stocks are rising higher than a fat girls blood pressure, they tie the Coochie Killers at 3-1 and are in prime stiking distance and can take control of the APC if they continue this style of play. This team has a weapon of mass destruction just as lethal as the Barons, Zoey Monroe. Part of the Monroe dynasty, this cock magician has come into the following three weeks laying waist to all obstacles in her path. She and Leah Gotti have formed into a devastating duo of destruction, we'll see how far they can carry this team late into the season.

 

#4 RIVERTON RUG MUNCHERS (2-2)

Mongos squad has now dropped two game in a row in heart breaking fashion but remain a valid contender. Much controversy came in week three when Mongo played Eliza Ibarra instead of Peyton Presley, this move cost the Rug Muchers the game and maybe halted the momentum heading into week 4. Although these close calls have cost them some wins, Riverton remains a defensive force not to be trifled with and a spark could ignite this team once again.

#5 NEBRASKA NECROPHILIACS (2-2)

 Is Nebraska back??? The blue blood Necros have now chalked up two victories in a row and are hungry for more! The Reaper has lit a fire under these girls shapely asses and are now on a collision course with greatness. Canela Skin has put this team on her sexy venezuelan  back and continues to lead like the All Star we thought she was, but she needs her veteran companion Asa Akira to pick up some of the cum load. If this happens the  Necros will be primed and ready to explode like a nuclear missile, let's just hope the curse of Carla Mai doesn't return...

#6 RICHMOND RAILERS (1-3) 

The Railers story is one that is littered with heartbreak, all three losses have all come by one point. They have the talent but seem to always just let victory slip by, but this week they finally but all the peices together and downed the undefeated Coochie Killers. It was truly a David and Goliath story, and couldn't of come at a better time. Baba Boi put the trust in the reigning Rookie of the years hands Honey Gold, and she showed everyone why she earned those honors. The Railers now have a W, let's hope they can string a few more together and get back in the race for the NPC. 

#7 CLARE CRÈME PIES (1-3) 

Coming in at #7 are the Crème Pies, this squad has also come on hard times as they dropped from the previous power rankings. The Grandmaster may need to look into his roster and make some key line up changes if they want to keep the ship afloat, if not his hoes may need some life vests because their implants won't keep them from drowning this season. Chisty Mack remains a dominant force but the rest of the locker room has been playing like a Junior Varsity squad. With half the season left the Crème Pies can still claw back and finish with a winning record, we'll see how they fair next week against the Pussy Pounders. 

#8 PHOENIX PUSSY POUNDERS (1-3)

Finally we take a look at the wavering Pussy Pounders, after their controversial week one win they have now dropped three contests in a row. These L's have put Miggy on the hot seat with the front office and changes may come in the form of a new coach. If they want to turn the season around they'll have to stop the bleeding, round one penalties have gutted this teams ability to secure any momentum in matches. If these penalties continue the Pussy Pounders may never crawl out of the anal gaped hole of despair. 
 

          -Jim the Commentator